The Trials of Young Joseph F. Smith (6)

The Trials of Young Joseph F. Smith (6)

After a year of married life twenty-one-year-old Joseph leaves Levira for England. He urges sobriety, but not melancholy, and cautions against wildness. Her letters reflect tenderness at his scoldings and fear of not living up to his expectations. She sinks into depression and finally nervous breakdown; lives at the homes of George A. Smith and Brigham Young. After repeated delays in departing and a heavy work schedule, he experiences persistent depression before leaving for home.

Except where noted, primary sources are in the Joseph F. Smith Papers.

the throbbings of the heart that loves
Young lovers	They seemed very much in love when, after barely a year of marriage, Joseph left on a mission to England. "Levira, I think of you all the time," he wrote en route to New York. "I pray for you, and more—. But enough. You know the throbbings of the heart that loves."	JFS to LAS, June 14, 1860.
Counsel for Levira	He also had a word of counsel: "Remember Vira, your duties to your God, and to your mother. Do not give way to too much hilarity and rudeness. Be a woman! Respect age and take good council, though it be from a fool."
Sobriety	Taking counsel was a virtue Joseph had cultivated since he was sent on a mission. It was a virtue he expected of his wife. Levira tried, but she was by nature an independent-minded woman. She was also fun-loving, which might have been the perfect antidote to Joseph's serious personality. When he encouraged her to cultivate sobriety, she teased, "I am getting so sober that I can hardly know how to take a joke, so you must not joke me a great deal."	LAS to JFS, July 23, 1860.
Melancholy Cheerful but not wild	To which he replied, "I do admire sobriety in you dear. I admire it in any one." Then, speaking more of himself than anyone else, he added, "There is a state of sobriety verging upon melancholy that I do not like. You must avoid that above all things for it will make you disagreeable both to yourself and your friends. … I do not want you to get disheartend, nor downcast. Keep chearful, yet be sober i.e. not wilde!"	JFS to LAS, September 5, 1860.
Joseph's expectations	When he had been gone four months, Levira rather apprehensively mailed him a photo of herself. She was a tender-hearted girl trying to meet expectations she could not always divine.
Scoldings	I almost fear that you will give me a downright real good scolding for daring to be so presumptuous as to do such a thing without being requested so to do. But notwithstanding, however, I think I am going through a process that is calculated to harden me in time, so that I can take a scolding and not hurt my feelings not the least either, but never from you. No. Five words from you either cross or pleasant would have more weight upon my mind than five times five would from any other being that lives on the earth.	LAS to JFS, August 14, 1860.
Cross words like ice upon my heart	You may perhaps think that I don't mean one word of it, but I do mean every word and a great deal more. It has ever been so. Cross words from you have fell like ice upon my heart, and yet I have fained to care nothing about them.
	In their first year but marriage Joseph's barbs found their mark. She had evidently received the same council as Martha Ann ("Be Sober and prayerful, and . . . think more of Joy in your Hart, than Sorrow in your mind, and keepe it all to your Self, and tell it to no body"), but Levira would no longer pretend he hadn't hurt her.
I never could keep such a smooth face again	I never could keep such a smooth face again, no never, and I hope from this time forth and forever I may never do or say anything that will cause you to disregard my feelings. There is a long lifetime before us I hope, and my earnest and constant prayer is that we may live it according to the best of our knowledge.	Ibid.
Joseph doesn't write Levira's depression	In the second autumn of Joseph's absence Levira became depressed. Mail arrived in Salt Lake three times a week, but there had been nothing from Joseph for six weeks. "I could not endure for one year to come what I have endured during the past time of your absence from home," she wrote in exasperation.	LAS to JFS, November 3, 1861.
My poor, pale face and wasted form The powers of the adversary	One look at my poor, pale face and wasted form would convince you of that. Oh! Joseph, I would give all I possess in this world if I could only see you, be clasped to your bosom, hear from your lips the comforting words I so much stand in need of at this present time, and you would have them for me. I know you would! There are but precious few men in this world who posess human hearts and feelings, and I thank God that he has given me one, and by his [-] I will strive to become worthy of him … the adversary has exerted his powers to destroy me, but I have fought against him. It has been a hard struggle but he has not been permitted to overcome.	Ibid.
Joseph's busy schedule	"My time is fully occupied one way and another," Joseph replied,	JFS to LAS, December 17, 1861.
My desire is to do my duty	nearly always so that I have to snatch an opportunity to write whenever circumstances will permit. I am not exactly my own master, as duty is always to me binding. My desire is to do my duty. …
My thoughts are yours—let yours be mine	You say you do not wish to disturb my mind with your sorrows. … And which is most likely to disturb my mind, to know the wors, and be able to sympathize with you and perhaps be able to suggest a remedy, or be warned of danger and be kept in ignorance as to where or what it is, or how to meet it, and thus be compelled to endure the worst fears and suspense? … Should we not be one? I have never kept anything from you, that you should know. All my thoughts are yours. Let yours be mine.
Levira very low Taken to George A.'s home 5 weeks at Brigham Young's home	Then, heightening Joseph's alarm, came word that Levira was "some better but unable to do anything yet." Brigham had sent a carriage to transport her to George A.'s home where she could be cared for. As it turned out, Levira had fallen ill. In January Martha Ann wrote that Levira "has been very low for a long time and she is very low yet but she is much better than she has been. … She has been low spirrited some of the time." Levira spent five weeks at Brigham Young's home.	Mary Jane Thompson Taylor in David Taylor's letter to JFS, December 1, 1861. Martha Ann Harris to JFS, January 12, 1862. JFS diary, April 9, 1862, citing letter from Zina D. H. Young.
Cheer up, Levira	On March 1, 1862, he wrote her, "You must cheer up, Levira, and learn (if you have not already) to take things as they come, which we cannot control." He had been feeling low himself, and didn't write often
Joseph's melancholia	because I have had no heart to write to anyone scarcely and even now, if you catch my spirit, I fear it will fail to enliven you. It takes but little to make me sad. I am very sensitive and rather melancholy inclined besides I scarcely ever have time to sit down, quiet and unquestioned long enough to follow out a link or two of thought, say nothing of a ‘chain of thought.'
Coming home	The good news was "I expect to arrive in Great Salt Lake City in about six weeks! or about the time this letter reaches you!!!"
Depression	His release was imminent. He would be home in a few short weeks . But instead of excitement, he felt "melancholy," didn't feel like writing anyone, the slightest thing made him sad, and, though he attributed it to a busy schedule, found it difficult to follow a chain of thought—classic symptoms of clinical depression.
Release postponed Levira doesn't write for 6 months	As it turned out, Joseph's release was postponed. After a six-month hiatus, Levira finally wrote again. The letter arrived on July 5. She was still sick and weak, but hearing from her lifted Joseph's spirits.
Joseph: devil weighed me down	Your letter has done me a vast amount of good. Do you know the Devil tryed to weigh me down with the thoughts & fears that you were worse, and I do not know what else! but to Judge from my feelings, Dreams &c. Something Sorrowful, but your letter has done much to dispell the cloud, and to restore Sunshine.	JFS to LAS, July 8, 1862.
	Referring to letters from friends he had received in the past six months he joked,
Levira "mending worse"	It has been this, "Levira is mending," "I have been to see Levira and she is improving"… and all the time Since, that I really began to think you "mended wors!!"
Nervous condition Living at George A.'s for the summer	Still, no recovery. In June she complained of "a beating on the brain," and in August, "since I have been sick I am so nervous that it is imposible for me to write." She was living again at George A.'s home, where she expected to remain "the remainder of the summer & perhaps untill you come home." No one knew that was still more than a year away.	LAS to JFS, June 29, 1862 cited in JFS diary, October 16, 1862. LAS to JFS, August 10, 1862.
Joseph's depression Cannot get rid of it	In February 1863 Joseph was beset by another episode of depression. "After meeting I was seized with a sorrowful, dejected feeling that hung like a weight upon my mind. I could not get rid of it." He went to bed at midnight and arose the next morning "very sad." He gave vent to his feelings "in prayer and tears."	JFS diary, February 8, 9, 1863. Joseph did not record his feelings again until the diary entry of April 27, "We had a little wine and spent the evening very agreeably, Samuel [H. B. Smith] , Parley [P. Pratt, Jr.], and myself."
Another postponed departure	The following month mission president George Q. Cannon wrote Joseph that his departure would have to be postponed again—his organizational and clerical services were required for the upcoming season of emigration.	GQC to JFS, March 19, 1863.
Reaches the valley, October 1863	Finally, on June 24, 1863, he sailed for New York, docking on July 6, and, after a brief side trip to Nauvoo, arrived in the valley on October 4—after an absence of three years and five months.
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